Meet Ammar Afzal – the fake Managing Director of Microsoft

Say hello to the ‘Pathan of Fakeabad’, the ‘Nawab of Doucheistan’ and . . . err I ran short of words. But I guess I’ll have to update my vocab since I’m referring to Ammar Afzal from Pakistan, that one mighty person who, acc to him, has managed to scoop ‘8 Gines World Records’ in Oracle, spoke to Bill Gates over the phone for ‘six minutes’ and is working as the ‘Managing Director of Microsoft’.

*shit just hit the roof*

Ammar Afzal seems to be on a roll, enjoying his ‘success’, attending various colleges/universities, accepting awards and giving the students a piece of his mind (poop, maybe). But is this suited-and-booted guy for real? Or has he played the ‘let’s fool people’ game very well? After a little research over his ‘tall claims’, the answer seems to be the latter, i.e. Ammar Afzal isn’t what the media has projected him to be – reason for pride. In reality, he’s the reason for Google’s popularity, helping common people search against such fakes and douchebags and later bring them down.

 An article on TheCurrentAffairs.com (now dsyfunctional) reads, “Ammar Afzal a 9th class student from Okara city wins world computer software course. according the details published in newspaper Ammar Afzal 15 years old student of 9th class in the district public school and college got the distniction by winning first global position in Stanford University England’s (SUE) World Computer Soft ware Course.On 1st May, 09, on scholarship from SUE he had moved to england for further education in his field. According to Ammar Afzal his Internet Trainor Mr Simond had challenged him in an angry mood to solve some question, and had pledged that if he succeeded to solve these questions within, Mr Simond would resign from his job. Ammar solved the computer soft ware riddles within an hour. He got 4.99 marks out of 5 in the test which was a world record. Mr Simond stuck-up to his pledge and resigned . Ammar said that he would always maintain deep regard for Mr Simond as a teacher though he might be angry with him, as he had gained a lot from him. i congratulates him for his sucess & yes this is a lesson for us that how people get sucess when there is a firm believe & great will to learn.”

Also, here is his interview with National Television:

Time for a few facts:

  • There is no such university called as ‘Stanford University England (SUE)’.
  • Stanford University is in California [USA] and not England [UK], though he seems to have changed it later.
  • World Computer Software course? What does that even mean??
  • Stanford University doesn’t seem to host any Oracle course as described by Ammar.
  • Ammar Afzal’s internet training centre is Brainbench, un-accredited un-authenticated independent organization with no ties with Oracle whatsoever.
  • There isn’t any ‘Mr.Simond’ working for Brainbench, after an interaction with the Senior Technical Support team there.
  • Microsoft does not have only 49 developers in the Windows Development Team.
  • Sudden promotion to the post of ‘Managing Director – Microsoft’ is completely laughable.
  • Microsoft employees are not allowed to reveal its internal software development plans and activities to the public, as Ammar spoke about Windows 9 and his ‘good work’ there.
  • Hundreds of Microsoft employees [sometimes thousands] are involved in developing a single operating system (3000 approx for Windows 7). Ammar Afzal says he is responsible for developing 50% of Windows 9. A big fat lie!

I’ll probably stop here though there are many more such facts that prove him to be lying about his accomplishments and his ‘Microsoft association’.

It’s even saddening to see how irresponsibly a state national television channel proceeded to interview him without proper validation of important facts and his accomplishments. No wonder the host lady was going all ga-ga when Ammar Afzal boasts about speaking to Bill Gates over the phone.

*suddenly remembers a quote about ‘beauty without brains’*

Ammar Afzal doesn’t look like a technical guy; doesn’t speak like a technical guy. Any fellow with sound technical knowledge can easily find out the bloopers during Ammar’s interview to the National Television channel. He also maintains numerous YouTube channels hosting extremely shoddy videos of God-knows-what!

An excerpt from his blog, “we are working with world wide & Microsoft give guarantee for our Company. Because CEO is the student of Microsoft in Windows development & showing exceptional results in Windows development.”

If this is the level of English you practice, Good Sir, then I can’t stop laughing over how your ‘conversation with Bill Gates’ went by. Hope you at least got a date with that lady!

The bottom line is, Ammar Afzal is a person with fake claims and no genuine accomplishments. In the interest of readers and common people, do your homework before you stand up and applaud for the one on stage, only to find that he wasn’t worth your effort!

*sits back, sips coffee*

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When a huge, scary-looking inmate made me cry . . .

What do you call someone for whom a good sleep and movies are the only things he desires in a day? More than a movie-buff? Well that’s me. Hollywood interests me, especially the cinematography, the fine attention to even the minutest details, the inspiring performances of every single actor in the frame and more. Bollywood? Not today. I used to be a fan of Hindi movies but today’s crap scripts and bull-shit performances coupled with wafer-thin plots; especially the mainstream cinema has put me off!

I mean, HOW CAN A MOVIE LIKE ROWDY RATHORE OR BOL BACHCHAN BE CALLED A BLOCKBUSTER? No, tell me!

Include a few laughs, a dozen punches and some ‘fuck! That actress is so sexy’ scenes and get away with a blockbuster and the film-makers later rejoice in their balcony in half-pants, plenty of booze and girls, shouting ‘Meri film hit hogayi’! I don’t even…..

Coming back to Hollywood, I happened to come across a movie named Green Mile. Well, I won’t post a review here or sing praises of the sexy actress (there wasn’t any, actually) but I was awestruck by the plot and mainly by an inmate named John Coffey (Michael Clarke Duncan).

Michael Clarke Duncan as John Coffey

Michael with an imposing height of 6 feet 4 inches and huge bulging muscles is an inmate who is convicted of killing two girls and lands up in jail with a death penalty in hand. Michael is blessed with natural healing powers; he brings a dead mouse back to life, completely heals a cancer-struck women lying in her death-bed and makes Tom Hanks say goodbye to his bladder infection which affected him big way (he couldn’t pee properly or make love). With all said and done, in a few days, Michael has to breathe his last while sitting on the chair with electricity being passed through his body for the murder charge.

I couldn’t help but notice the performance by Michael Clarke Duncan as John Coffey (he won an Oscar nomination for the same). As the character, John Coffey is made to sit on the chair, I found myself crying profusely over his humane deeds which helped save many lives earlier; the simplicity of his talk and the genuineness of his character which had me glued on. I prayed for the movie to take a twist such that John Coffey doesn’t have to die; I prayed for something to happen which would prevent me from seeing his body burn black for his performance had instilled back faith in humanity where people genuinely care the good of their fellows. It made me stand up and appreciate such real heroes who saved many-a-lives and never asked anything in return. John Coffey never eyed the warden’s wife; neither was he a fan of currency notes nor of special favours in the prison cell. All he wanted to do was good for others in the utmost convincing manner.

But alas! It didn’t happen and John Coffey was burnt to death. I continued crying.

In the movie, it is revealed that John Coffey was falsely convicted of murder and that he had never committed the crime!

In real life, Michael Clarke Duncan passed away today. [R.I.P]

*wipes tear*